FANZINE

Actual headline: Why Are Babies So Dumb If Humans Are So Smart?

Crying for food yields results.

Shitting and having someone else clean it up sounds pretty smart.

Sorry, I didn’t read the article.

You know, squirrels are born blind, hairless, and toothless& within six weeks are weaned

& are sexually active by their first birthdays.

Humans and squirrels experience time differently.

Today I’m reading about gears.

For every three rotations of this driving gear,

a driven gear makes only one rotation.

Humans are this big dumb gear that doesn’t suck a dick until it’s a teen.

That smaller gear rotates more quickly but once it has completed its rotation, what happens next?

For every iceberg that breaks a tinkly, haunting jolt, a human twists an ice cube tray into a bucket.

I listen for cubes to fall into my bucket.

Water against plastic.

Tiny avalanche.

Plan for winter.

Gather nuts.

Store nuts.

Find more nuts.

Store these nuts.

Remember where you stored your nuts.

Plan for winter. Find more nuts.

Clinking your glass I shall sing: Gimmee that, Gimmee that, Gimmee that nutt

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_{Check out earlier reviews in WHEN I BUST OUT here.}