FANZINE

I am still in Modesto, CA, and making wine slowly.
I wish I could say I made some lifelong friends.

I am writing this message to all who read this.
I am still in the same state I was before.

It seems I am still in my room.
I am still in the closet.

Now I’m living in Modesto getting to know my dad and the lack of things.
I am still in need of $655 in monthly support.

Now I know that I am still in the light of our father.
He did not have me or the men in Modesto as saints in his church.

I am still in awe of the broad and sweeping responsibilities inherent in the Resurrection.
I am still in the market for explanations of what was going on there.

I really enjoy talking with all kinds of people.
I am still in need of companionship and more importantly, sex.

The defense is a Satanic ritual at the hands of one of the known Modesto cults.
I am still in shock that this has finally been pulled from the shadows.

I am still in what feels like the beginning of my research.
I am still in the gathering mode trying to get my basic set of tools.

I am still in the world where I cannot escape without a healing hand.
I don’t matter but I am still in Modesto and can’t buy a hand.

I am still in a gray area and can be chastised severely if challenged.
I am still in a nice and polite tone. This is what happens.

I am still in love with Rush to this day and wish I could hear a tape.
It would be weird to be in Tucson.

I thank God for my solid gold eBay customers.
I am doing good with the meds I am on.

This is my only day off this week and I am still in my jammies.
I am still in need of some party ideas with a fairy tale theme.

I am still in my truck.
I can only be towed five miles which is not enough to get to Modesto from Stockton.

I am still in the schoolyard with these kids when they come and arrest me.
I am still in my more rudimentary stages of spinning for sure.

I didn’t burn in my mind if not in anyone else’s but here I am, still in Las Vegas, just.
I am still in the chair in which I had been typing from the beginning.

I am still in touch with some of the Germans I knew then.
Those who remain are living in Modesto or the Inland Empire.

I am still in touch with all original Co-SysOps which are Ace (not Diamonds).
I will never look at ratios the same way.

I am still in a state of shock. Life is worse here than I imagined.
I am still in the process of studying more advanced theory.

I am still in the process of trying to resolve a second mysterious $88.
I am still in the process of transcribing information.

I am still in the process of posting at the time of amending this.
I am still in awe of this device.

Everyone is borrowing my clothes. I am still in Modesto or something.
I guess we are “technically” old enough to be grandparents now.

I am still in a free XXX video bit of shock as I hear the door open.
I knew Modesto clip art missing pregnant woman she could see my ambivalence.

I am still in doubt how to properly define “most central.”
I just found out the M stands for Modesto.

I’ve got to drive a bobtail rig from Modesto to Ontario.
Sometimes I wonder if I am still in America.

 

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_{K. Silem Mohammad is the author of several books of poetry, including Deer Head Nation (Tougher Disguises Press, 2003), Breathalyzer (Edge Books, 2008), and The Front (Roof Books, 2009). He is a professor of creative writing at Southern Oregon University.}

 

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Editor’s Note:

For the Autumn, this column will tour the Pacific NW.

Ashland, Oregon, home to Southern Oregon University, sits right near the bottom of the state, and is known for its massive weed industry and its annual Shakespeare Festival. It’s a stupidly gorgeous land ornamented with maddeningly cute town that doesn’t allow fireworks on the 4th of July because they know it really stresses out the pets. It’s one of the major arteries of that West Coast spirit Pynchon mined for the first half of his bibliography, and home to a food co-op larger than a Trader Joe’s. There is a drinking fountain in the center of town that pours medicinal sulfuric water. The sum of people I’ve met who live in Ashland are K. Silem and his wife Brooke, and two people who rent out their counseling / tantric sex instruction space as an apartment AirBNB. It is a six-hour drive from Modesto.  –DD