FANZINE

The More I Hear, the More I Like That 111th Minute Fuckup

Thirty-two, your home at first. Allegiance
then unfolds just as irrationally
as patraphilia. A civil war
is at stake for the Ivory Coast team.
Yet besides The Economist, who gives…?
Genealogy might throw Celine a
long overdue poke in the old ribcage –
which is telling, things never known of friends –
the German, Italian, and Dutch blood.
How quickly we believe, identify.
Was Materazzi content with his goal?
No, grabs Zidane’s jersey. Zisou says he
can have it after the match. No thank you –
shirt of bastard terrorist spawn...Head-butt.

Being Silly ‘Cause The Other Team Won

What can one say about Materazzi?
Don’t like him, though I don’t know him well.
It was something about his finger wag
at first, at the ref. You know Superman?
How he has that evil twin (what’s his name)?
Well his wag is the evil counterpart
to Brazil’s Ronaldo after he scores.
You see that wag and expect anything
right off from the Italian defender.
I hope those Mussolini loving thugs
enjoy themselves before the law comes down.
Just kidding. Am only bummed for Zidane.
Couldn’t root for other Europeans,
just as I can’t the Mets or the Yankees.

I have been hard in my soccer sonnets on the Brits, so wanna put up this opinion on the whole Zidane headbutt issue from a respected longtime British (West Ham) football supporter, (and Zidane fan to boot) John Russell.

Hi Casey:

The plot thickens – Zidane gave a weird interview on French TV yesterday where he said Materazzi had said horrific things about his mother and sister. He went all biblical saying Materazzi had said these things “three times” (I think he is starting to believe the hype and thinks he IS a kind of quasi-religious figure…). Then he went all “Michael Jackson” by saying he would only apologise to the “children” who were watching. He pointedly DID NOT say the insult was racist. This was taken as meaning there was no racist insult.

This confirms the opinion of Gabriel Marcotti (probably the best, ONLY, good football journalist), who knows Materazzi personally and who was very critical of Zidane’s tactical silence which has resulted in Materazzi being labeled a “racist” and receiving intense (and in his opinion) unwarranted abuse and criticism – all of this shit where lip-readers were claiming to have read Materazzi’s lips and that he had called Zidane’s mother a “terrorist”.

The popular press are all painting Zidane as the good guy who was pushed too far and Materazzi as a racist thug. Of course Materazzi is a thug (in footballing terms), but then so is Zidane (in footballing terms). Zidane has a long history of being violent on a football pitch and has been sent off 14 times in his career (this is a massive amount, especially for a “skilfull player.” E.g., the notorious Vinnie Jones was only sent off 13 times). Zidane’s previous red cards include head-butting a German player, stomping on a Saudi Arabian (last World Cup), etc.

Add to this being told your mother/wife/sister is fucking dogs/horses etc, plus other insults is a standard way of winding up the opposition in football (and no doubt ice hockey, American football, etc). I think Zidane headbutted Materazzi because he was tired and frustrated and Mazz had been fouling him all match, and the “insult” thing is a convenient excuse. If this is the case, then I think Zidane deserves a lot of criticism for the way he has exploited the situation and allowed Materazzi to receive unwarranted and harmful criticism as a racist and the way he has allowed this criticism to continue by delaying a statement about what was said, or not said.

-John Russell

My 1st apologetic sonnet to English John…

Apologia for the Anglos

I’m sorry John, really. Can’t explain why
I got so hotheaded, or why I have
this silly Tourette’s-like thing with the Brits.
Must be something latent, ’cause it makes no
sense to me…fuck. When I talked about the
jealousy thing in that last email
I really meant it, and didn’t explain
well. Not only do most Americans
(as we are typed) coast forward aimlessly…
Even worse, we really don’t know our pasts.
Things are brought up when grandma has a glass,
but she’s pretty good at checking herself.
The vague thing with her drunken stepfather?
I know it keeps playing out… Least I guess.

Second apologetic sonnet to English John…

I’ve Been Such an Ass to England’s Football Fans

Yes, you’re right, I admit – was top heavy,
on the English. Soccer fans are Nazis
everywhere, or at least the few who buy
into nationalism shit. Problem,
as I see it (the new guy’s perspective) –
these “teams” play to qualify between Cups,
but otherwise players are tramps, money
chasers, corporate vagabonds. It’s the
fans who think in four year bits…go reptile,
patriotic. And since some nations can’t
stand more than twelve years without a good war –
while on average even the best teams
won’t make the cut but every third cycle…
The beer brand’s grass is their sub Waterloo.