FANZINE

Cheap Shot: Notes on Donald Rumsfeld and the Game of Squash

09.28.06

Donald Rumsfeld wants you! To challenge him to a game of hardball squash. Actually, he probably wants you to enlist as well, but that’s not the point of this column by squash veteran Benjamin Strong. Strong wrangles through the mixed metaphors assigned to the Secretary of Defense’s recreation, and finds they may not be as astute as their writers believe.

Not A Bad Butt: more soccer sonnets

07.12.06

If your own country is among the initial 32 World Cuppers, that’s your team. If they get knocked out, then weird rationalizations follow for subsequent teams supported – places you visited, your DNA. If you wound up going for romance and class, might have settled on France and Zidane. But then the whole dance got thrown a wrench with that odd foul late in the final’s overtime. Heard an Irish guy’s opinion last night about what happened – By tradition, players will exhange jerseys after games. Materazzi, Italy’s only goal scorer in regulation had been grabbing the legendary Zidane’s jersey. Zisou’s smartass reply? – said he could have the damn thing after the game. Materazzi’s return? – Keep it you bastard son of terrorists (referring to the fact that Zidane is half Algerian). And thus the head-butt which knocked the Italian out and got Zidane ejected before the close (of the game and his career). Can’t blame him for that…But is that really what happened? Probably not (will keep adding to this, as mistaken as we are, as news comes in…)…. And BTW, don’t listen to me, people are sensitive…just trying to be irreverant and funny…jeez. Both the Italians and the English hate Fanzine now.

Men’s Wimbledon Final Sonnet

07.09.06

Roger Federer still reigns supreme on grass, but Rafael Nadal has got his number. After a 6-0 Federer dominated first set, Nadal put some fear into the grass master. When the twenty year old clay champ masters this surface, the tennis world might have an undisputed ruler for years to come.

Cooler Heads Prevail: Italy Wins The World Cup

07.09.06

Italy is the champion of the world. But felt like the game was over even before the penalty kicks. Zidane, the man I had bragged to I.T. phone agents in India about being such an artist AND a gentleman, pulls a Wayne Rooney before his official time runs out. What does one say to that John? I don’t know. It sucks, is sad. Must be more to it…

The Falstaff of Tennis

07.05.06

…I say that, the Falstaff of tennis, ’cause comically (black humor yes) Irakli Labadze was the only dude to wander onto Wimbledon grass completely broke, without shorts even, and some nice love handles to boot. Had to convince Londoners to loan him $1500 on spec for the qualifying entry fee, yet ended up on center court playing the 2nd seeded player in the world, and turned that $1500 into $85,000 while having a hell of a good time, as he hurled serves faster than any in the tourney (140 mph?). The longshot Georgian rules, my new favorite tennis player, and well deserves the latest Fanzine sports sonnet.

France Can Dance Too

07.02.06

Was that really Brazil out there today? I was confused. French legend Zidane (nicknamed Zizou – yo Wes Anderson fans, take note), having declared his retirement will commence after this Cup, just might be on the team of destiny for 2006. This is the 3rd Fanzine World Cup sonnet from your friendly editor. I hope I don’t have to write 140 ingratiating syllables about the Germans or the Italians in the future…and, I will assert, I am planning on writing my next sonnet in either French or Portuguese – any other language (like German or Italian) and the shit will be a haiku).

20 Year Old Super Talented Striker Messes Up Big time – Perhaps Costs England a Cup

07.01.06

There were two World Cup games today…here’s my second Fanzine soccer sonnet about the early match which involved some nasty nad stomping and one of the most obvious/deserved (among many frivolous) red card deliveries of the tournament

The first World Cup sonnet, prior to the quarterfinal results, is here.

Oldies Among The Eight: World Cup Sonnet 1

07.01.06

Well this will be old news after today, as Brazil plays France, and one of the legends (Ronaldo or Zidane) will be knocked out. And as I write this blurb, England and Portugal look like they will be going to penalty kicks, and Beckham’s out with an injury. Maybe I’ll write more.

The Final Four Finally: The Phenom of George Mason

03.30.06

There are those schools that nobody ever hears about because, well, even if they have a sports team, they have never made it to any of the big dances. George Mason Alumnus Dallas Hudgens writes about the wild ride it has been for The Patriots this season, making it to the Final Four of the NCAA Championship, a feat that has put this rather unkown school on the map.

M.S.G.: Stop Calling it The Basketball Mecca

03.29.06

With the Nicks screwing around for yet another season as NCAA championship history is being made throughout March Madness with cinderella upsetters like George Mason knocking off one big name seed after another, Adam Underhill asks why do we still hold Madison Square Garden in such high basketball esteem?