FANZINE

Susan Sontag said, “If the point is to have meaning some of the time, it can’t be made all the time.” I think we could all follow her lead this July by having deep meaning some of the time and letting it go out the window for the rest. We follow through on Cancer this month and let good ol’ Leo finish it off for us, so be prepared for feelings and lions (and loins). I hope you all get some good rest and spend the rest of yr time doing yr absolute best to live well, shift the status quo and make cool shit. Touch the ocean when u can. Look at a horse. I love u all. You are all so beautiful. Please don’t stop being so beautiful, I couldn’t bear it. Wow. Incredible. Yr absolutely perfect and u get perfecter every day.

 

Aquarius

Have you ever looked into gardening? This could be big for you, Aquarius. Avoid candles & think about the story of Salome.

 

Pisces

Spontaneous combustion is something that’s gotten a lot of attention, but what about spontaneous relocation? You could be two places at once. You could get more sleep. Nine hours a night, Pisces. Nine fucking hours a night.

 

Aries

Do a victimless crime this month, Aries. Even a small one. Jaywalk, shoplift, I don’t care. Just do a crime. It’s good for the soul. But goddamnit, don’t hurt anyone.

 

Taurus

Morals can be difficult, Taurus, but morels are delicious. Eat some mushrooms and look for scraps of paper on the ground. I’m not talking about psilocybin, but if that’s yr thing go wild I guess. I mean delicious, delicious food with mushrooms. Pin the paper scraps to your wall in the shape of a circuit diagram. Follow the electrons.

 

Gemini

Go up the nearest staircase and cut your fingernails. Right now. Do it. If you are considering a career change, wait 150 days and consider it again. I mean, if your job is shit and you can get out, get out. I’m not talking about jobs though. I’m talking about careers. Wait exactly 150 days. For now, though, maintain. Fold the fingernails up in a piece of paper. Next time you need good luck, go to the bathroom and flush them.

 

Cancer

Clean yr heating vents. Look deeply into them, Cancer. Wear the color purple and dive into a bush. Eat some watermelon, lightly salted. It’s amazing.

 

Leo

This is a month to think about the conflicts you have had with others, to really do your best to resolve them. It’s difficult, Leo, but important. If it doesn’t work, at least you can say you tried. I’m not saying you need to be friends with everybody, but respectful distance can be a viable option in a lot of situations. Reconnection is this month’s theme. It can take time. That’s fine, Leo. You’ve got so much time.

 

Virgo

Human flight. Just start from the ground and go up.

 

Libra

WE KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE, LIBRA. COME OUT WITH YOUR EYES OPEN. Take the recommended dose of aspirin today. Wear some sunscreen. Listen to Frank Ocean. Keep your feet cool. Eat some kind of leaf.

 

Scorpio

This month you will work on your masterpiece. It will be your greatest achievement. You have already started it: this month, continue progress. Help for this could come in the form of a friend. It could come in the form of a flightless bird. It could sit right down in your lap. If you take some time to stare at the full moon, it could give you benefits that you don’t notice, but that will help you anyway. Avoid cults, Scorpio. If you are interested in a thing, google the name of that thing plus “cult” and avoid whatever comes up.

 

Sagittarius

Oh my sweet, sweet Sagittarius. You are so good to the people around you. This is what they love about you. Be even gooder to them. Find new people to be good to. Make a hobby out of this. Build it up in your mind. Let those thoughts take form into a new creature, that will roam the wilderness for decades, searching. What is it searching for, Sagittarius? What does it eat?

 

Capricorn

Okay, Capricorn, you’ve got this. Have you ever listened to jazz? Listen to some jazz. It could save your life. Focus on hydration and you could move mountains. Work on stretching. Get really flexible and find a tight space to squeeze into. While you’re in there, you will discover a version of your mother that is very very small. If you hold her in your hand she will tell you about skiing. You might never understand why, Capricorn, so just listen to jazz and keep it up and one day this tiny mother might knit you a sweater that fits.