FANZINE

Everyone is always ragging on this guy, saying he has a mean streak, or that he’s a hypocrite for leading the charge to impeach President Clinton after the Monica Lewinsky affair while Gingrich himself was having an affair on his wife at the same time. Newt argues now that it wasn’t the affair that was the issue, but that Clinton lied to a federal grand jury…ok, sure, but a couple of days ago his meanness certainly reared its head again, suggesting that many public schools should fire their janitors and have the kids clean up their own toilets. You know teach the little scallywags some responsibility. Like in the army. Nevermind those child labor laws. That’ll keep the Chinese on their toes.

In response to the recent pepper spraying at UC Davis Newt also suggested that the protestors: “Go get a job, right after you take a bath.” Well I for one think Gingrich is laying out a clear plan for the cleanliness of this country. And if he doesn’t get the GOP nod as their candidate to take on Obama in 2012, I suggest another role for him in government. Certainly not as padded as some of his lobbyist positions (some tied to Jack Abramoff), but important. Here’s to Newt Gingrich, future U.S. Toilet Inspector General!  -CM