FANZINE

Long the envy by the likes of man, the cloak of invisibility, a technology once only possessed by Predator, Federation Starships, and Frodo Baggins, is one step closer to reality. In an confusingly-titled article (“Science Close to Unveiling Invisible Man”), the Times Online reports big advances in the realm of invisibility, though the technology still teasingly wavers in the distance a few years off. “Xiang Zhang, the leader of the researchers, said: ‘In the case of invisibility cloaks or shields, the material would need to curve light waves completely around the object like a river flowing around a rock.’ An observer looking at the cloaked object would then see light from behind it—making it seem to disappear.” Great observation, Dr. Zhang. Gary Busey said the same thing in Predator 2 (1990). I imagine it will be but a few short years after this cloak is perfected, that people will start lining up, shelling out twice or perhaps thrice as much for the +1 version, and, a few years after that, the code to a more highly coveted item will be broken: the legendary boots of escaping.

-C. Barclayhill, wealthy businessman

(*In fairness to the gentleman pictured above, he admitted this (uninvisible) iteration of the Predator suit was a prototype. Chad Barclayhill may be cynical, but he is not cruel to the common man.)