Alejandro Miguel Justino Crawford



Is it just me, or is the internet broken today.

You know what tomorrow is don’t you?

A body of grass.

Water in place of face.

The transformation of flesh or skin into vegetation or trees.

Angels have no backs.

“seek and learn to recognize who and what, in the midst of inferno, are not inferno, then make them endure, give them space.”

Aqua Solaris, the second earth, is inhabited by creatures with a human head, but the body of a leopard.

No blood flows from the pierced body of Beatrice

and then — then all is mystery and terror, and a tale which should not be told. Disease —

a fatal disease

Hello gender neutral strawberries.

Woke up 7am, hungover… Had a 6.5oz cup of milk and 1 pound of raw spinach. Then I assembled.

The Messiah’s teeth are whiter than milk

People who died in the year negative 1 never saw The Messiah

I’m getting used to the new format.

A Pic of me smoking my first cigarette

Fuckable or not?

Head on or Head off?

Getting kind of tired of being depressed.

The Philistines are giants.

I have vast life experience and have lived all around the world— and there are some things I need to say right now:

All incoming bits of information have, simultaneously, a tentacular, optic, and sexual dimension.

Someone who drinks water has black bones; someone who drinks wine has red bones, and someone who drinks hot water has white bones.

Can openers, how do they work?

Socialism will overun this place

Is gay love more stable than hetro?

IMPORTANT: Do all women have mustaches?

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Woke up at 4 AM; fell out of bed; dragged a comb across my head

Woke up 4am, ate 4oz of raw cashews, 6 oz whole milk then I built a snowman and fucked it in the ass

Can severe depression interfere with your work performance?

I work at a call center and if I didn’t have a side gig (ecommerce site) I’d likely kill myself

My detailed review of Windows Phone 8.1 on Nokia Lumia 920

Does ketchup ever go bad?

Representation no longer exists; there is only action.

Spirits, like computers, have no hair.

grey looks better than red

Is blowing someone else considered gay?

Branson, Missouri: fun, or sucks?

I hate white people

I hate black people

I hate old people

Fascism is surprisingly gay-friendly

Is there really a lot of gay sex on Navy ships like a lot of people say?

A famous rapper wants to hire me to write & spread a virus named after him

People who died in 1911 never saw twitter.

People who died in 911 never saw an ipod.

Why do people need to hear themselves talk?

Have there been ANY good bands since Zep and Floyd?

REMINDER: You will get old and die.

Both male and female demons have bald heads while their bodies and faces are covered in hair.

Is it still worth it to create software and sell it?

I can get a smart phone at Rent A Center FACT: Hitler was a Christian.

GF keeps hinting that she wants to try anal with me

Ever look at shit under a microscope?

WTF is with girls shaving one side of their head

Hate my software job

Thank goodness I have a crystal ball

WTF is up with tree pollen this late in the year?

How can I legally turn 50k into 100k in a year or two?

3 year old has made friends with the neighbors 3 year old 2 doors down. Thats great except…

Can Atheists please explain music to me?

Why are white men so weak, pathetic and boring?

I hear that lamb’s quarters and purslane are the two most nutritious vegetables around.

meeting a 7/10 tinder chick for 1st date tomorrow. any tips?

Another reason I hate maids & house cleaners: They steal stuff

Restless Leg Syndrome driving me crazy. Anyone else?

All the energy on earth couldn’t create a perfect vacuum.

How long is a piece of string? Imagine a liberal army.

All I care about anymore is making money. society has let me down.

Eliza has a bald head and is mocked by some small boys.

My latest obsession? Buying ultra luxury shit from high-end e-commerce retailers and returning it

How do you pronounce char?

People who died in 911 never saw windows XP

Man, I’m so boring.

When did you first find out you were an idiot?

I HATE being stuck in this country. It feels so limiting.

The anus of each of the Philistines, and their beasts, and all the other apertures of their bodies, closed up when Beatrice began to sing.

When Beatrice started singing, the urethras of each of the Philistines, and their beasts, and all the other apertures of their bodies, closed up.

When Beatrice began to sing, the vaginas of each of the Philistines, and their beasts, and all the other apertures of their bodies, closed up.

Then Beatrice began to sing, and the mouths of each of the Philistines, and their beasts, and all the other apertures of their bodies, closed up.

The ears of each of the Philistines, and their beasts, and all the other apertures of their bodies, closed up.

The nostrils of each of the Philistines, and their beasts, and all the other apertures of their

bodies, closed up.

The daemon sees through her breast and has the limbs of a man, but no head.

Aqua Solaris, the second earth, is inhabited by creatures with a human head but the body of a wolf.

Is “australium” a real element?

A man over 40 without a family is fucking pathetic

Where do we go when we die?

best use of violin in a rock song

Get this. It is the same amount of years from 1978 as it is to 2050

I want to become a teacher. How do I start the process?

Idea for iWatch app: app that track how fast you can whack it

How much would it cost me for one of you to kill me?

I walked in on my dad screwing his white girlfriend’s front butt.

Topic: Why is violence against men funny and used in tv commercials

Been gone for a few months. what the fuck happened to this place?

There are eyes everywhere. No blind spot left.

Why are conservatives aloud to fly?

What shall we dream of when everything becomes visible?

Remember when working people had hope and gave a fuck ?

We’ll dream of being blind

A question on girth:

The inferno of the living is not something that will be; if there is one, it is what is already here, the inferno where we live every day, that we form by being together.

I feel like shit.

I gave into peer pressure and got a nice smartphone

Why are people so nonchalant about allowing companies to spy on them?

Whenever I go to a suburban supermarket, most 40-something married women are fat with short hair

Does bleach permanently blind your eyes?

A Weapon in place of a head or skull.

I ran out of pron, now I wank to the video where steve jobs introduces the Iphone

I pray for another market crash and panic.

I love disaster and misery.

Any adult bedwetters here?

We had a guy in high school who was as effiminate as fuck

Thinking of sending my wife this URL on stopping complaining, but I know he response

Linux Expert dies after passing gas.

Selena Gomez just started following me on twitter…….. Why?

Her face looks normal; there is nothing wrong with it.

The scattered bones of Beatrice untied themselves, into an entire body, exuding fragrance.

The blood of an unborn Philistine unfastens the gun from the hand of the attractor.

Aqua Solaris, the second earth, is inhabited by creatures with a human head but the body of a wolf.

the solution to every slumping economy is to print more money, without any backable securities.

Life here is so miserable; I wish I could be dead.

Woke up 4am, ate 4oz of raw cashews, 6 oz whole milk, probiotic kale smoothie…

I feel like killing myself this morning.

Life is terrible and pointless.

You’re not an alpha male unless you’ve fucked multiple women on a bed covered in blood and feces.

For pillowcases, I prefer 100% cotton. For bedsheets, I prefer the cotton/poly blend, for durability

Put a kiwi fruit up my own asshole before bedtime.

Gonna kill myself now

Had myself fitted for a new butt plug today.

When a woman has hot flashes is it then safe for a mans penis?

True ALPHA MALES know the only way to keep stains off your sheets is to, lacuna

As an alphamale, all my bathroom towels & bedsheets are DARK BROWN. You betas wouldn’t understand

How do you cope with the banality of life without getting drunk/high?

Bought my first stock this morning. Lost $4 by the end of the day.

Life is too hard. There is no help.

My brothers colostomy bag leaked in Walmart today Called in sick to work.

Life is too hard. I wish it would end.

Anybody ever do Krokodil ?

FACT: Global Waming is not causing the oceans to rise, new islands are the cause of the water

Couldn’t sleep, so did my favorite pastime: Went to grocery store, bought max. food/drink for < $10

I bet none of you retards know how to write an ampersand.

google building a quantum computer

google : building a quantum computer

Is there any way to prevent baldness? Anything that can be done?

Godless heathens, why not say an occasional prayer, just in case you are wrong?

Robot handjobs are finally a reality

The emission of semen from fingernails

anyone here not a millionaire yet?

I used to let strange men pee on me at rest stops all across the state.

Can I put an entire computer monitor down the sink disposal?

Can I put entire dishes of food down the sink disposer?

I’ve read “C# For Dummies”. Still don’t get it. Is there a “C# For Fucking Idiots”?

The problem with America is Americans. Stupidest and most entitled people of the first world.

I think it’s cute when teen girls giggle and , lacuna

Woman gets pregnant via 3d movie

What kind of spider is this?

BREAKING: Stock market killed by bees after setting clock 8 hours back.

The key to beating depression is avoiding things

I found another awesomeb tumblr

Post-mortem pics of hot chicks in caskets, for sale for $19.99 a piece.

Simulations back up theory that Universe is a hologram

Why does bongwater smell like potatoes?

I am not choosy. My main requirement for a woman is that she is feminine. Too much to ask ?

If you’re an ex con, pussy comes easy

Suicide is illegal

Why won’t any of you agree to kill me?

I’m about to take my Xanax, Ambien and Oxycontin combo before bed… Sweet dreams


PRE ALPHA is a play-through of an unfinished video game called Egaeus, which is currently being developed by Alejandro Miguel Justino Crawford.

THE YELLOW BOOKS OF THE PLASTIC EATING PHILISTINES is an index of acquirable yellow book objects in the video game.

Alejandro Miguel Justino Crawford is a poet, video artist, & game designer living in Brooklyn, NY.