ARTICLES BY Nick Sylvester

“Purple Dolphin”

Nick Sylvester


Well we had to get this joke out of the way from the git-go…that it’s a true blast to finally read Nick Sylvester’s "real" fiction (which is to say if the gonzo reporting tradition was never your cup of tea, then there are plenty of News Corp. outlets out there now to get your "facts" from…). Here’s a chapter from Sylvester’s debut novel, the forthcoming Ten Minute Wait about "a secret society of waiters on the brink of exposure, a mistranslation that triggers a city-wide kitchen staff revolt, and a desperate downtown poet-waiter type who accidentally becomes famous off a silly pomo gag." Art by Danny Jock.

A Supposed Return of Disco pt. 1: New York’s House of Slightly Less Jealous Lovers

Nick Sylvester


Is disco back in New York? Or did it ever leave? Nick Sylvester covers the flashing floor from Blondie and Sylvester to Holy Ghost, the Rapture and LCD Soundsystem trying to find the answer. Cover art by Danny Jock.

Don’t Drink The Creek Water: JT’s Southern Hospitality

Nick Sylvester


9 out of 10 Fanziners agree, Justin Timberlake is hands down the most talented ex-Mouskateer of them all! But does that mean the southern bred gentleman has the Midas touch with any ol’ thing (like the restaurant business)? Nick Sylvester makes it a few months late to the opening party for Southern Hospitality, Timberlake’s co-owned BBQ joint in Manhattan – but Hospitality is taking reservations for a New Years bash, so if you missed their opener too, come on down, but good luck spotting JT. Art by Danny Jock.

Megaphone Guy & The Deadly Snark

Nick Sylvester


Genius grant recipient, satirist, and short story writer George Saunders released his first non-fiction essay collection, The Braindead Megaphone, earlier this Fall. In the title essay, Saunders discusses the fatal flaws of mainstream news media and sends it up in the process – not unlike what Gawker Media set out to do with The Gawker Guide To Conquering All Media, the internet company’s first foray into print. Nick Sylvester examines both efforts and decides which was more successful. Art by Danny Jock.

Be Your Own Boss: A Retrospective on Kurbside Kitchens

Nick Sylvester


In Nick Sylvester’s latest food column, he digs up memories of working for his father’s food service business, Kurbside Kitchen, relating the misery of sweeping warehouse floors, spotting his first bearded lady, his father’s painful illness and shiftless workers in his employ—one with a startling secret.

No Pomp Just Circumstance: Notes on Two Weeks of Croatian Dining

Nick Sylvester


Nick Sylvester travels to Croatia, wines and dines on squid (complete with ink), pasta and fresh sea bass – what the locals call branzin, and ultimately makes all our stomachs growl with envy.

The Braffing of Daft Punk or…

Nick Sylvester


Editing Nick’s piece, I had to ask him what "Braffed" meant. He replied in an email that "to be Braffed is a sideways reference to Garden State and Zach Braff and ‘The Shins will change your life’ line – any overly dramatic preordained significance given to a piece of art’s power to transcend." Alas, this piece is Sylvester’s response to some Braffing he read concerning a recent Daft Punk show.

Copycat’s Cradle: Milon Vs. Panna II and General Impressions of Curry Row

Nick Sylvester


In Nick Sylvester’s second food column for Fanzine, he wonders aloud the possibilities that the two fixtures of Curry Row share the same kitchen, while at the same time, dismantles seat cushions at a neighboring restaurant, gets gregarious with the barkers outside the dueling Milon and Panna II, and enjoys a Hindi birthday party or two or three.

Falafel Stars of the Village

Nick Sylvester


As rents rise, affordable eats can still be found in New York’s East Village, and the most abundant and delicious deal of the hood is the falafel sandwich. Nick Sylvester indulges himself and us with a wrapup on these wraps (with special props to OFS maestro Mohamed, pictured in the title shot).