FANZINE

j’s creative process

 

neighbors in neighborhoods yea rite

when we looked at each other with the lambent play of intuition & every witch insight

i am not pure and clear like quartz though

do not know why i need opinions to align when outward spiral of

but church is a theater where 2real spirituality spills under

an amber thicket of attention socket you give me honey, honey you give me

i carry story like sharp shards of false attention in my eyeballs gotta wash ’em

out to tell you everything that happened

in thick flat white hanging out i don’t eat strands

of i don’t want toothlike serrated music to shrink my world down to this

 

 

the vast wasteful expansiveness of j’s creative process shrinking oceanic data slowly

down to the dewdrop of an about

that turned

into a heart that made a left turn

off long fern strewn

into i moss you you

\ are not infinite

but i will ride with you in our mutual corresponding lumbar burlesque

≠

 

 

 

 

Right before I burn this bridge

 

thank you for remembering what i was before

obviously everybody else’s update in reverse chronological order writing from the perspective of their life telling you so vividly the details can make it hard

click through the riots that happened are no more

show up to oscar grant after a virtual call for a rally and

virtually rally with all the other virtual rioters

things don’t end they just stream away become part of the reverse chronology

i am not the same as the enemy though i spent tuesday cooperating with monstrosity

healing is monstrous and so is attention. i waited for it why you give it to me why it happened with residue i took it a half hour after meals // inspect your hearts check yourself

be surprised or don’t when the revenge happens

girl love girl love girl love

healing is monstrous and so is attention gurl love checks her out she’s up up up

we are good enough

?

i am seizing a rare moment of sanity to tell you again that it’s urgent to accept yourself though you may identify so heavily or have been identified with the enemy. you must accept yourself and that is all the more terrible for if you reject yourself you’ll never change.

you are not a monster and you deserve attention

(or stay a monster)

when we come out of our mutual gaslight our bodies will be lighter

though in the mean time they will be gassier

 

or stay a monster

 

 

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_{Coda Wei lives in Philly and does mostly nothing. She has a chapbook from Perfect Lovers Press. She likes making unusual trades. Email her at wei.coda [at] gmail [dot] com.}